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Ode to the Obsolete Commodes
by Helen Griffiths November 2000 This was my voice-over for a brief documentary I shot for an "On the Porch" segment on KXAN. It never aired but later Jim Swift called and interviewed me on my childrens video "Mr. Proper Says, "Please Mind Your Ps & Qs" That did get an airing! Purely for your entertainment and light bathroom reading! ODE TO OBSOLETE COMMODES (or so long john -john) In a letter it came, all about porcelain, a letter of great jubilation Austin City did dare, offer loos by the pair, for water conservation In English and Spanish, soon doubts all did vanish, that our old friends must meet chinacide Two Johns out of three, were ripped out with great glee, as we read the Instructional Guide Inspector control, comes to crack up your bowl so you can't make a personal gain So mutely the pair, side by side were aware, they were lined up perchance to be slain But wait, hold the hammer, no need for the slammer, the crappers get temporary respite Load the old china dragon, in the back of the wagon - their demise we'll now expedite Follow con-sta-bu-lary - we'll no longer tarry, as the Capitol Building does frame them With a tug and a hustle, a bunching of muscle we jockey position to aim them. For the green dumpster sign, suggests 'Please to align the toilets as far to the rear' So the Johns they did fly, as high as the sky and smashed with a look debonair They now have their druthers, and joined all their brothers, those water-guzzling gushers And we've made Dowser Dan a most jubilant man, with our new Rundle low-water flushers. Copyright 1998 Helen Griffiths |