The Total Man Package: My First Audition
by Dan Murphy
Yes, I have done some small parts in some minor and major movies, but this was my first real audition. In the other productions, I just sent in my headshots and resume. Then, like most people, they would look at my pictures and prestigious resume and fall in love with me and thus beg me (offering free food) to be in their project. Actually, there was no real need for me to audition previously since I didn't have any lines to speak and I was just an extra.
Well, not this time, Bucko! I had to read some lines and I got the part DADDY! I just remembered something. I did have to audition for my limited, local loco wrestling announcing work, but we all know that doesn't count. Still, I list it on my resume.
I got the part of "Salesman 1" for a digital video (DV) short called ONE SWEET DEAL, written and to be directed by Jonas Lamis. Synopsis: A woman and a car salesman both think they have got One Sweet Deal, but one of them is mistaken. I'm not telling who it is, either.You're just gonna have to pay the bucks and check it out when it's released.
After submitting my info to the proper authorities, I received this response below from the ONE SWEET DEAL team thanking me for my submission and inviting me to audition for the following parts: Salesman 1, 2 or 3 (speaking) and the Mechanic (non-speaking). They attached the current script, asking me to read the script to determine if you I was really interested in the project. The rest of the email message gave me the audition info (even includjng a map), the projected shooting dates and contact info.
I read the script and thought it was a cool little story. I contacted them and told them which time I would like to audition. Take Five Films promptly responded and met my request. My audition was set for 10:30 p.m. on Wednesday, March 20th, at The Hideout on Congress Avenue. The Hideout is small coffeehouse and theatre in downtown Austin.
I printed out the two scenes they wanted me to audition for and planned my wardrobe. The Salesmen parts were described as jokesters and their ages ranged from middle-aged to older. I had the perfect outfit to wear for the part - my Miami Vice late 80's-style $88 suit from the International Male Catalog. The suit is cheap and sleazy looking, and I hadn't worn it since my debut as a weasel-like wrestling announcer. The color of the suit is aqua blue or aqua green, depending upon how the light hits it. I also brought some sunglasses and a small bag of Cheetos. The Cheetos will make more sense shortly.
Fast forward to the audition date. I showed up about an hour early and signed in at the designated area. They were running on schedule. I felt like chickening out, but talked myself into going. I decided that I would go with an "I don't care" attitude and just have some fun with it. Now I was really relaxed and anxious to get in and audition. When it came time to audition, I was told to walk up the stairs, turn left and sit in a little dressing room with a couch. I had now gotten farther than I had ever gotten before in the movie world. I made it to the casting couch. I waited there briefly until a girl auditioning for the lead female part got done. Now my heart was beating a little faster, but I was still pretty calm.
Then the girl finished and they asked me to enter. There were six or seven people sitting in the room and they were taping the auditions. Jonas warmly introduced himself and I met some of the other people involved with the project. Jonas said something like, "Why don't we start with scene five and you play Salesman 1." I said okay and got ready to go. They had one camera taping to my right and one taping to my front. The guy playing the scene with me moved into position and I positioned myself near him. I felt artsy and unconventional like Brando. Let the audition begin!
I read the lines for scene 5, which was short, and then it was time for scene 10. In this scene, Salesman 2 is talking to Salesman 1 about how his wife caught him cheating on Cheetos. When I came to the line for Salesman 2 that said, "Cheatin' on Cheetos" I whipped the small bag of Cheetos I had out of my sleaze-ball suit. It got a pretty good laugh. It was like I pulled a rubber chicken out of my hat. Then again, they may have just been laughing because I sucked.
When I left I felt great because the whole ordeal turned out to be lots of fun. No, I'm not just sucking up because I got a part. I called a friend of mine right after the audition and told him what a blast it was. I've got the cell phone records to prove it. So THERE!!!
Just think. This is all going to culminate with me picking up my Lifetime Achievement Oscar like Sidney Poitier and Robert Redford. I've only got about fifty years to go. Man, those guys can deliver a speech.
Until ONE SWEET DEAL is released you are just going to have to settle for me in the new Dennis Quaid movie THE ROOKIE. (I met Quaid briefly and he came off as a nice guy.) Just don't kill yourself trying to find me. I was a crowd extra for some of the baseball scenes. You'll probably just confuse me with the cardboard people anyhow. Trying to locate me might turn out to be like that Where's Waldo game.
Talk to you later. Take Care!!!!!!
THE TOTAL MAN PACKAGE!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!